I'm Ready...Right?

So, it's my last week at home. The last stretch before college begins. Which has gotten me thinking...

Am I actually ready for college?

You're probably thinking "Obviously!" or "What 18-year-old ISN'T ready?" or "I wonder if Alex No is single." (for those of you with the last question, the answer is yes.)

I mean....college. Shit, man. I'm going to be completely alone and independent for the first time in my LIFE. I went to the same teeny tiny private school from Kindergarten all the way through 12th grade. I've never switched schools before. I've had the same group of friends for half of my life. I knew the name of every single person in my grade. And suddenly I'm going to go to a brand new school where I know no one!

It's just so weird to think that I am moving seven hours away from home in seven days. I have such mixed feelings about this whole thing that I'm making myself confused!

My high school bragged about preparing their students for college. Academically, I'd say I'm more than prepared...but socially and mentally, I think I have a few things to learn.

I'm not going to lie-- I'm used to people holding my hand (metaphorically AND physically!) and leading me through any tricky or tough situations. My teachers and college counselor were at my beck and call with any and all questions I had, my parents were there at every minute I needed them, and my friends would do anything for me. But now I'm going to a HUGE school where, clearly, I'm not going to have someone to help me with every problem I face. It's going to be a learning experience and I know everyone has to go through this at some point in their lives, but I feel like I somehow missed out on being independent.

I'm honestly worried I'm not going to make the right decisions. At time, I can be a little spineless. My mom even told me a few days ago that her biggest fear for me is that "you're going to be too much of a people-pleaser." It's not my fault! I love making people happy! And the word "no" sometimes isn't in my vocabulary...

I'm just overwhelmed with the fact that I'm not going to be at the same school for another year, with the same teachers and the same friends.

Everyone seems so confident about leaving home and starting new, when the idea of leaving home is really starting to freak me out. Not that I can do anything about it...I have seven days! Only a mere week! A week to "get my head in the game", as the beautiful Troy Bolton once stated.

Oh well.

This is one of my favorite songs, EVER. From one of my favorite movies ever! I think it fits my mood quite well.

Motherfucker, I'm scared.



  1. dont be afraid alex!
    new experiences are absolutely the best. ive gone to something like 7 different school and lived in twice as many places. ive had to take a lot of new steps and they have always been steps for the better. youre going to a wonderful school with lots of nice funny and amazing people (cough cough, i happen to know a guy who's all of that;) )
    so i assure you that while you maybe be leaving so much behind there is so much more good to look forward too:)

  2. thank you Nick! you're so wise :) I've just NEVER had the experience of moving before! Or changing schools, or anything of that wonderful stuff. I just hope I can adjust to my new surroundings and not get too caught up in anything ya know?