Jobs I Would Suck At

In the spirit of college and job-hunting, I've composed a list of jobs/occupations/lifestyles that I would be really, REALLY bad at.

1) Nun- Let's just take care of this one first. I would literally be the WORST nun ever. I show WAY too much skin, and calling me "boy-crazy" would be like calling the fattest man in the world (whoever THAT is) "slightly overweight". Huge understatement!

"Sister Alexandra, would you please join us for morning mass?"

"Uh, where do the priest guys sleep in this place?"

2) Taxi/cab/truck driver- I am pretty much the epitome of "bad woman driver". I drive way too slowly, I have no sense of direction, and I get very flustered behind the wheel. I would probably end up in the ghetto with my passengers and get us all shot. Somehow I feel like that's not the purpose of a taxi driver.

3) P.E. Coach- I am the opposite of athletic. So I feel like I'm not exactly in a position to tell kids to run 5 miles when I'd much rather sit on my couch eating an ice cream sandwich. Hey, I'm sure the action of chewing and swallowing is considered exercise by some cultures.

4) Dentist- Ew. Sometimes I'm grossed out by my own mouth when I brush my teeth. There is no way I am putting my finger's in some kid's mouth! Children have strong jaws. I could lose a few digits! Plus there is no way I would be able to operate a drill. I'd probably drill the wrong tooth...my bad.

5) Phone Sex Operator- In all honesty, I would not be able to take this seriously. I would be cracking up the whole time, and then I would get mad when the person on the other end demanded a refund. I'd be like, hey, I'm not the 40 year old divorcee with a beer belly and no job! Plus I feel like I'm not a very sexy person.

"So, tell me what you're wearing."

"Um, clothes."

6) Scientist- Good luck finding any kind of cure while I'm working. I'd get hella* distracted and be like, "Eh, this is boring, let me go eat a cupcake." Because that's what I usually do when I'm bored. Also, I would have like no one else to talk to, so I'd probably eventually lose my mind and burn down the research lab. COOL!

Disclaimer: I have nothing against any of these occupations. If you are interested in one of these fields, great! They are just not for me!

*I SAID HELLA! NorCal, here I come!